Facebook Love

“An intense look between the two future grandparents expresses an ineffable nuance of love that a dictionary could not provide.”   --Once Upon A Fastball

           I really fell in love with this sentence the other day. Read in a book that I didn't want to read (but had to as to not break my daughter's heart) it prompted me to do the one thing I NEVER do...dog ear a page of a book. Books hold a place in my heart that I cannot explain, thus I won't try.
  
           I think this line of prose is one of the most beautiful I have encountered in the world of fiction in quite some time. Personally, I feel it transcends fiction and attaches itself to real life in such an insightful way. It describes love in such a romanticized way that it must be true. It doesn't speak though of here and now. Instead, it attests to their staying power and the future. In the immortal words of Shakespeare (or whoever the last movie about Shakespeare says the author really is):

"Ay, there's the rub..." --Hamlet

           One could wax philosophical on the subject of what love is, but I prefer to start by doing things the American way (to celebrate Independance Day and all). The American way is to tell you what it is not. Plus, this shows off a little of my rhetoric degree as I amaze you with names of people you probably haven't heard of like Kenneth Burke (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Burke).

           In the world of teen movies and all things social media we see the lingering effects that have led to what I now deem affectionately...Facebook Love (its a thing). There is this perception that we should be working, continuously trolling the waters if you will (or if you won't, its my blog) for that perfect someone. We can probably blame Disney for perpetrating this myth, but I think Facebook has continued the agony for millions of others.

          The truth is (definitely a facebook pun going on there) that finding someone is fairly simple. I know there are certain obstacles to finding that special someone. The problem is that we put so much effort into the front end (dating) that we think the back end (marriage) takes care of itself. Divorce statistics really speak for themselves. As many labor daily for: date or pass, lms (like my status), or truth is, the result is a lot of heartache and an emotional roller coaster that teaches a tremendous falsehood lie:

"They lived happily ever after."  --Every movie ever

           That is not to say that happiness doesn't lie ahead. It is to say that its not that simple. In marriage, you will squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, debate over or under on toilet paper and its roll postion, and you will encounter hard times. You will encounter sickness and loss. You will have times where there isn't enough...food, money, time, etc. You will have to stop being just you and being a family.

           Those things are worth tears (well, not the toilet paper). Those things are worth the emotional roller coaster. They can't be answered in truth is and it takes much more work than date or pass ever will. Those things are worth it.

           My advice, stop working so hard. The time to really work is still to come. If you still need hope that you will find that special someone, here you go. Remember, even I was able to sucker my wife into marrying me. That means there is hope for you too. You can save the work for later.