Facebook Love

“An intense look between the two future grandparents expresses an ineffable nuance of love that a dictionary could not provide.”   --Once Upon A Fastball

           I really fell in love with this sentence the other day. Read in a book that I didn't want to read (but had to as to not break my daughter's heart) it prompted me to do the one thing I NEVER do...dog ear a page of a book. Books hold a place in my heart that I cannot explain, thus I won't try.
  
           I think this line of prose is one of the most beautiful I have encountered in the world of fiction in quite some time. Personally, I feel it transcends fiction and attaches itself to real life in such an insightful way. It describes love in such a romanticized way that it must be true. It doesn't speak though of here and now. Instead, it attests to their staying power and the future. In the immortal words of Shakespeare (or whoever the last movie about Shakespeare says the author really is):

"Ay, there's the rub..." --Hamlet

           One could wax philosophical on the subject of what love is, but I prefer to start by doing things the American way (to celebrate Independance Day and all). The American way is to tell you what it is not. Plus, this shows off a little of my rhetoric degree as I amaze you with names of people you probably haven't heard of like Kenneth Burke (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Burke).

           In the world of teen movies and all things social media we see the lingering effects that have led to what I now deem affectionately...Facebook Love (its a thing). There is this perception that we should be working, continuously trolling the waters if you will (or if you won't, its my blog) for that perfect someone. We can probably blame Disney for perpetrating this myth, but I think Facebook has continued the agony for millions of others.

          The truth is (definitely a facebook pun going on there) that finding someone is fairly simple. I know there are certain obstacles to finding that special someone. The problem is that we put so much effort into the front end (dating) that we think the back end (marriage) takes care of itself. Divorce statistics really speak for themselves. As many labor daily for: date or pass, lms (like my status), or truth is, the result is a lot of heartache and an emotional roller coaster that teaches a tremendous falsehood lie:

"They lived happily ever after."  --Every movie ever

           That is not to say that happiness doesn't lie ahead. It is to say that its not that simple. In marriage, you will squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, debate over or under on toilet paper and its roll postion, and you will encounter hard times. You will encounter sickness and loss. You will have times where there isn't enough...food, money, time, etc. You will have to stop being just you and being a family.

           Those things are worth tears (well, not the toilet paper). Those things are worth the emotional roller coaster. They can't be answered in truth is and it takes much more work than date or pass ever will. Those things are worth it.

           My advice, stop working so hard. The time to really work is still to come. If you still need hope that you will find that special someone, here you go. Remember, even I was able to sucker my wife into marrying me. That means there is hope for you too. You can save the work for later.
   

Lessons from Sports Camp

             My youth group and I had an awesome opportunity to attend/work/serve/have fun/throw marshmallows/whatever at Sports Camp a few weeks ago. Sports Camp is a souped up VBS pairing the teaching of sports with the teaching of Jesus. It’s one of those great opportunities to go and serve others.

The great truth about any mission trip though is that you get so much more than you bargained for. You go to serve and teach. You leave with so much more. The Sunday after our return, we sat down and made a list. The end result is a list of things we, as a group, learned. Here it goes…

1. We saw a small picture of God’s Kingdom

                This one is mine. I always feel such a longing for God’s Kingdom after being with a group of fellow believers. So much more than a song, I see the Kingdom in fellow believers. So much more than words that often relegate God’s Kingdom to streets of gold or the size of mansions, I see a snapshot of His Kingdom when sharing in the collective lives of other believers. It’s a place where God’s presence negates the need for both sun and moon. It’s beautiful.

2. Kids look up to us

                Charles Barkley once infamously touted that he, “was not a role model.” We are role models. We are real. Many of us can’t do remarkable things with a basketball or a football, but kids watch us more intently than any sports star on television. We are real and we are tangible. Plus, we’re taller than they are; they have to look up to us.

3. A good attitude is important

                We possess something that so many others don’t…hope. I Peter 3:15 is not simply about being ready to argue. It’s a verse that tells us others will come to us because there is something so different about us. Jesus yields hope. Hope yields an attitude worthy of the one that starts the process.

4. We are the only Jesus some will see

                The student that brought this one to light prefaced his statement with, “this gets said all the time.” The phrase is overused for a reason. Broken homes, broken lives, a broken world and there is only one answer for that. Our encounter with Christ should move beyond us. Through service and genuine caring that can be accomplished.

5. There are cool Christians

                People that believe in Jesus aren’t cool. People that profess faith in Christ aren’t popular. At least that is what the movies and media tell me every day. I think we learned the opposite is true. Even without Tim Tebow, we still found people we could be proud to call friends and fellow believers. Of course “cool” is never our goal. Still, I don’t have to search the world to find people to hang with. I don’t have to compartmentalize my life with “church friends” and “popular kids.”

6. Love the unlovable

                One of the core values of our youth group is to: Love people when they lease deserve it and when they lease expect it. Like anything in life, this can become a cool phrase for a t-shirt that we never actually apply in our lives. Sports Camp challenged all of us to love those kids that didn’t act the way we wanted them to. I was screamed at, my wife was kicked in the shin and my entire youth group has decided having children is “just not for them.” That is all right. We were able to overcome THE greatest obstacle in loving others…us. We had a chance to get past ourselves and see those that just needed to know they were loved no matter what or who they are.

7. Patience

                This is pretty self explanatory, but so important to us. Someone had patience with us. A parent, a mentor, a teacher, a coach, Jesus and that made the difference for all of us. Patience is not just something we prop up on a pedestal. It is something that has to ooze from us as we deal with others.

8. Being active is important

                One of my youth leaders lost 15 lbs during his week at "boot camp." He was looking for hidden cameras shooting a new season of Biggest Loser. Teaching kids sports, playing ultimate Frisbee, lifting weights- all of those things were way more fun than sitting on the couch eating potato chips. There are so many drums that get beaten about sins we shouldn’t commit. Gluttony and slothfulness should be listed somewhere as well.

9. Love kids

                We overlook them. We believe children are the future. They are people that need love now. Enough said.

10. Be flexible

                We are so rigid in our everyday schedules. My new friend Jackie shared a story with me. It concerned being late for a meeting because the time he spent with a broken individual was more important than being on time. So many times I value time, punctuality, or production over people. Be late for a meeting. Change your plans in a minute. It can make a difference to someone that needs you and not your day planner.

11. Heaven is bigger than where we live

                It is so easy to get focused on my church, my town, my house and forget how wonderfully large and diverse God’s family is.

12. Positive relationships are important

                For as long as there have been camps there have been “camp romances.” Stealing someone’s heart for our own fulfillment does a disservice to us and others. One of my youth leaders shared something so telling: “It’s not just about being physical. Every relationship you have, you give a piece of yourself away.” We should be careful in giving our hearts away. We should be just as careful with the hearts we try to capture.

                I think the beauty of all of these lessons is that they didn’t take a sermon series or a bible study for us to figure out. All it took was taking the things we have heard over and over and actually doing them. Personally, I can’t wait to see what we learn next year.